yesterdae i had the biggest quarell ever again with my sis. felt like i went back to the past. all these violent screams n yell. i dun know how much i can take it either. she threw the hospital bills at me and demand i pay everything back and schedule my own appt. she accuse me as if i' betrayed her. her over-reaction to my lack of sensitivity. i shouted at her unreasonable behaviour even before she could hear me out. i realise my slip of tongue at e wrong moment cause the whole chaos in my house. finally i screamed and shouted at her back until i slapped myself and collapse in tears. letting my emotional self get the better of me. it sound crazy but i am. so is she. i cried until 12 a.m and fall asleep. exhausted from this whole day of tears before and after.

thanks yang even though he wasnt physically there for me. i just needed the basic comforts that i need. i know the day didnt really went well becos' of me. u know all i need is some more time to be back the real self that i was. i cant blame that i love you and cause the insecurity within me to break out most of the time. but there's only stable love for you and unstable feelings for me. i have no doubts in my love for you. i have more doubts on my own insecurities.

more thanks to yun who called immediately to comfort me. i know she may not know what really happened. but her words sooth me down and cause me to cry again too. pathetic am i. sigh.

happy birthdae hongwei! couldnt wish him last night. but tonight our night out for dinner. lets be happy for now.

this morning everything became fine. my sis pretended nothing happened last night. she ask about my leg and wounds. i say is alright. and she told me abt the next appt with the doc. i could barely speak becos i have lost all my voice for now. what could i say. my fault her fault. our faults our flaws. after all we are sisters..right